have ever been l o s t, damaged, (heart)broken, vulnerable, unloved, unwanted, unneeded.
have ever lay on the cold ground and let the solid surface dig into your skull, graze your ankles and induce sh-shivers to see if you still
r e a l l y feel.
have ever stood in the heavy, pouring rain hoping that as it soaks you to the bone and cleanses your pores, maybe it will wash away everything about you too, giving you a fresh start.
have ever slipped under the duvet, swallowed the lump in your throat and squeezed your eyes shut praying that once you drift into your deep slumber, you will never wake up.
This is for you.
Each moment fades like days fade to nights fade to dreams fade to mornings fade to something fade to nothing and in the end it becomes hard. It becomes desolate. You're isolated and you're just stranded. You're trapped on a raft with no direction to sail, because each route is blocked by the violentviolentviolent ocean waves that crash and clash and clatter tumultuously, scarcely evading you and your little rigid raft. Sometimes you fall overboard and you find yourself grasping onto what you have left. Just clinging and clasping and clutching, not caring if your knuckles are going to break. You just. Don't. Care anymore.
I know how it feels to watch life f a d e away. I know how it feels to grow older without growing wiser. I know how it feels to be lonely and to let the seconds fly. One year later, it feels as though a decade has been lost. Tomorrow is never worth waiting for. Life will never wait for you. Minutes become hours become days become months become years and in that time, you won't find a pause button. You need to take each passing second as it arrives on your doorstep without having the courtesy to ring the bell. You need to scream and cry and laugh until you lose your breath. You need to jump off your raft and swim to the shore. Don't hold back.
We all consist of tiny pieces of everything. It brings us together in the viscid web that is our world, our community. Together we stand and fall with great trepidation yet great strength; hand in hand, heart in heart as we maunder together. Our short stay on this earth is both futile and substantial. If we can just change one life, one moment in a person's time here and make each person we encounter smile...We have meaning. I want you to know that sometimes you will feel lonely, but you will never be alone. There is almost seven billion people by your side.
Life takes many forms, shapes, silhouettes. It's full of variety; both good and bad. We all connect somewhere in the middle. Dried banks can retain beauty just like a flowing river. We keep flowing too, until we reach a dead end, a brick wall. Despite this, we live on and continue stumbling and falling and getting back up together.
Everything moves so fast and the fuel usually found in the air we breathe will occasionally run out as you contemplate the spiral that sums up your existence. But let me tell you this: You are your own oyster. No matter what happens or doesn't happen or never will, we all breathe the same oxygen. Our shell is flesh and bone. You don't have a soul, you are a soul and nothing can take that away from you.
You might not believe this, but you are soso beautiful. You are soso special. You are soso important. Every scar, lump, bump, tooth and feeling you have - that's you. And you know what? It can never be replicated. You are unique, and no-one can be exactly like you. Take care of yourself, because no-one like you will ever exist on this earth again. You're distinctive in your own little way whether you accept that or not.
S m i l e. Smile for me, smile for those who lack hope, smile for you. Let it reach your eyes and feel it.
Believe me: You are strong, you are wonderful, you are needed...
You are loved. As life passes by, you will be loved even more by people from around the world. And you will deserve it. No matter what happens, no matter what stones or hills or mountains stand in your way, never forget. Open your heart, open your mind and live.