=bowie-loon123

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About Me Literature / Student Official Beta Tester Jasmin (Are you) Shaw20/Female/United Kingdom

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Deviant for 5 Years

26 Month Premium Membership

Statistics 36 Deviations 7,407 Comments 160,423 Pageviews

Critiques

Death of a girl TIME
He closed the door behind him as he entered his dark room. No matter how much he tried to change, to run away, his heart and past cling unto the back of his minds. Refusing to let go, like a child grabbing tightly to his mother's leg begging to be with her - refusing to be abandoned in the past as it should be. Joy and happiness had no meaning in the present. It only served to bring back memories of what it could have been and how much he wanted to go back, where life is, no; was just another day of simply waking up.

Flicking the light on inside the kitchen, he opened the tap for some water. Looking at the water filling up the cup, he

Death of a girl

by ~Tatamae

Hi there! Here is the second critique I'm writing for you as part of the Mentorship Project! As always, everything I say here is mere...

VIEW CRITIQUE

Practice Makes Perfect Fingers press down the delicate keys
One miss, one fumble makes my eyes close
I let my hands take over
Gliding easily from one key to the next
A smile spreads across my face
Finally when the piece is done
I look toward my teacher's reaction
She has a smile across her face too
All this practice finally comes to an end
I am not nervous anymore
The music has not one imperfection
It plays effortlessly on the piano
The next week lessons come
Once again I prepare a piece
Practice for hours, even weeks
For that final preformance

Practice Makes Perfect

by ~ChienNightmare

Hi there! Here is the first critique I'm writing for you as part of the Mentorship Project! Everything I say here is merely my opinio...

VIEW CRITIQUE

I aim to write at least one critique per month.

If you want a critique, send me a

! I'm best at critiquing literature. I will try my hand at other art forms, but don't expect any expert opinion. Literature is definitely my comfort zone.

You don't have to be a subscribed member to request a critique from me. I will happily critique pieces by those without a premium membership.

Some of my critiques are also random, but I only critique pieces if it is clear that the artist desires feedback.

Please read this before requesting a critique:

Be patient: Understand that some critiques will have to be postponed and even cancelled in certain circumstances. This is the most important point, because I don't particularly appreciate being pressurized or mistreated when I am going out of my way to help someone.

Only request a critique if you are patient and your need for one is not absolutely urgent. I prefer being timely of course, but the internet is not my priority. I have a lot of activities to pursue offline too.

From reading the critiques I have already done you will notice I put a lot of time and effort into them. That time and effort is what makes them thorough.

Lastly, I have to be in a certain mind-frame: I need to be able to sit down and analyze. If I force myself to write a critique when I'm not in that state or don't have the energy, the result will be a crap critique. I don't want to write one of those and I doubt you want to receive them either.

Anyone who harasses me will simply have their piece taken off the list without warning. That includes those whose critique is a contest prize. It's a donation and you do not have extra nagging rights. Reminding me is absolutely fine if you feel I may have forgotten, but please do not be forceful or rude.

There's more to a critique than the star ratings. Ratings are not an accurate portrayal as to what I like and dislike about your piece. I will explain my choice of ratings, but pay more attention to the words.

If you aren't mature enough to handle criticism, don't request a critique. If you're going to throw a hissy fit as a result of me not telling you exactly what you want to hear, don't bother: When I write a critique I say exactly what I think. If you can't take it, you're only wasting my time.

When I critique your piece, I'm not attacking it. You don't need to defend it: I'm not against your work.

I appreciate replies. Even if it's just a thank you. Asking for a critique and then saying nothing or doing nothing is a little inconsiderate.

I don't critique work that I think is awful. If I critique your work, it's because I feel you have potential and want to see you flourish. Again, I'm not attacking you.

Critiques are only my personal point of view (unless I'm pointing out definite flaws - such as spelling mistakes/grammar errors in literature, for example - because these things are not subjective). Some will disagree with my thoughts. You might disagree too. That's fine.

I know I can sometimes be wrong. I might misinterpret what you are trying to achieve as an artist. I might miss the entire point of a piece sometimes. I'm only human, but I try my best.

I'm not looking down on you and your work. I'm aware my art may need as much or even more work than yours. If I critique your work, it doesn't mean I think I'm "above" you in any shape or form.

You may request more than one critique from me. However, please only ask for one critique at a time if possible.

List of pieces I plan to critique as soon as possible. If I feel a piece has already received a lot of critique and I have little to add, it will be removed:

~~Angel on a Pedestal by =KyraWolf289~~ - Finished!
~~you by ~pyroarcher~~ Finished!
Mothers Unrequited Love or Strangers Once Again by =Evlydia
~~And in the Summer by ~Xiaomu-Blaze~~ Finished!

I aim to fulfill my duties and requests as quickly as I can!

The list is written is not necessarily written in order. Some will have to wait longer than others. Please be patient.

Browse Critiques

Poetry DLDs I've Featured

to Yellow Plum to Yellow Plum (in blue
china bowl):

afternoon's slit of sun slips
between thick curtains
& woos you to ripeness.

it chooses you
not for flecks of honey-russet
held low in your seam of shadows,
nor your symmetry & swell;
but because

you slink in shade, sink
behind green pear & clementine

& cannot hide
from each spear of light
that ricochets
through.

and even now I feel you:
nested warm
against my lip, your skin--

and even now I see you:
a tea-stain stone
hugging close
the trashbin floor.to Yellow Plum by ~Quelythe

78 Comments

We Who Worship the Morning Star Monuments burn into moments
And moments, to memories;
Memories fade to fiction
And fiction, to muses.

            (I) Sunlight Through Shutters

They, the nephilim rulers,
            Who perceived thriving landscapes
            While perched atop their assumed thrones,
Through adages of the abyss,
Adumbrated the fate of man,

                      We Who Worship the Morning Star by *Carmalain7

72 Comments

The Long Forgotten Country All forces have been steadily employ'd to complete and delight me
Now, here on this spot, I stand with my robust soul.
                         Whitman

A Light in the Darkness
In the morning, as she cast her net for
      Great handfuls of mud to build an island,
      They say she smiled, and that
      Her hair twisted itself into a forest.
And as she carved our bodies from the trees,
She christened this halcyon world wThe Long Forgotten Country by *ProvenParadox

15 Comments

Love Drunk by *eqlrytes

75 Comments

_{I am a Poetry & Prose Admin!}

Poetry I have featured for =DailyLitDeviations! See the prose I have featured here.

If you have a piece you want to suggest, please follow the guidelines stated in my Journal.

Read =DailyLitDeviations' newest article here!

Browse Collection

Suggested DDs

something big i)you curl your knees like a seashell,
a hermit crab wrapped in human skin, you drag yourself
from place to place searching
for a better home than these rags
waiting for someone with the suns in their eyes to catch you
and change you and press their
fingerprints into the wet clay of you

ii)cannibal, your teeth are worn
you hunt over your shoulder for something
a puzzle piece like you, with holes and gaps where you have
spears and thoughts that don't fit
to plug yourself into the raw electricity of them
and short them out
not with a whimper, but a bang
fireworks, or maybe just fires.

iii)the party lights are scattered like starsomething big by ~wish-sticks

26 Comments

DA Lit : Who We AreI am proud to be exclusively a literature artist. I really don't know how to do anything else. Here on DA, Literature is not necessarily under appreciated by most of the people in the community, it is just widely ignored. I think, really, many of us are completely okay with that. For the most part, we aren't here for popularity.

We are here for each other. We don't have thousands of followers. We don't have millions of faves. But for the most part, we have been able to find other artists that help us to refine our art. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I truly cannot express the appreciation and love that I have for my frie

DA Lit : Who We Are by *linaket

safety in awe, i watched,
breath stilled;
you strolled - in fire,
as in verdant pasture.

you, though exposed,
were composed,
holding close secrets.
flame in your spell
dispelled all madness.

you appeared ablaze,
that they who would care to
come near,
would not dare to.

what was real,
remains veiled,
   yet remembered.

what was not,
memory dimmed,
   is regarded.

in grace, you walked;
strong, proud,
you emerged unscathed,

   a Phoenix.

having realized you,
my heart stays
in your care.

so it abides,
guiding,
from this focused mind,
gliding to yours,

   one third safety by *alapip

118 Comments

Nebula. my partner in crime draws lines on her forearms with her billboard eyes
and we stick golden in your head like fireflies and unripe bananas and we're lovely when we're not
pining for those days when we can be stunning
alone.

this stain lasts on the fabric like you were last night
white like never and nothing and
not innocence because that's dark like the backs of my eyelids when I'm trying not to box up your
simple silence and play it like a fuzzy radio signal to put me to sleep.

if I stare at lunar valleys and remember that wishes only occur in silver and moonrays
I learn anew that if we could just lose gravity like astronauts
thNebula. by ~InkatMidnight

24 Comments

All work I have suggested for a Daily Deviation, in order of when they were suggested. There were more, but some of them have been lost due to old notes being deleted. Nevertheless, I salvaged as many suggestions as I could. Check them out!

Browse Collection

Accepted DDs

She's half a step from me 1994-i

"Call me Harry," she said. "Boys can get away with anything."

2010

I was playing with matches. Letting the flame lick and dance and gutter in the wind. Letting it almost touch the paint on my front door. Daring it to peel away.

The heat from the tiny flame was scratching at the tip of my thumb and I wondered, could I absorb it? If I let it burn a little further down the match, will the fire rush in and fill the dark and cold space that is me?

1999

Love-making over, she rested her head on my shoulder and whispered into my neck. As I was falling asleep she breathed "I will always come back to you."

1996

That was the year thShe's half a step from me by ~ReinventReinvigorate

175 Comments

Language in inhuman memory by =angelStained

105 Comments

The Writer by =WyvernLetDie

105 Comments

snowbones holding my hands over the kettle
the skin on my fingertips peels back,
like dated wallpaper,
like flowers blooming.

they're burning from the inside out,
nails turning to varnish, turning to steam,
bones click-clacking their way out;
spreading like wildfire.

the whistling stops, and
blink
and my fingers are just fingers,
ink stained, bitten nails.

sunlight steams across the kitchen,
my fingers warm and
slightly damp, i trace patterns on
steamed-up windows.snowbones by ~wish-sticks

133 Comments

This is work I suggested as a Daily Deviation that has been accepted!

Browse Collection

URGENT: LITERATURE CHANGES!

I DO NOT SUPPORT THEM!

Do you? Read +spyed's announcement here.

DA Lit: Who We Are by *linaket

This is not enchanting poetry, or a piece of powerful fiction or anything nestling in between. However, I feel this deserves to be featured so much, because it is still beautiful and important regardless. It rightly expresses that literature should not be thrown in the same category as Journals and such on deviantART, along with asserting the fact that we all stand together and have each others' backs. Whether you are a passionate writer, an avid reader or simply a curious passerby, I implore you to read this article. If you agree with it,

it and make a stand. Even suggest it for a Daily Deviation alongside me, or feature it on your page!

Long live lit!

If you are interested in my view on recent changes (which addresses a number of issues, not solely literature), read my response here! Don't be afraid to voice your thoughts too: Every single person counts!

By the way, here is some of MY art too!

A few personal favourites!

I love featuring others, but I also want to show off my own work!

i have you bookmarked - vii. Sometimes breakfast, lunch and dinner were like art; food was flung from each corner, creating a futile canvas on every wall. I played a scale of musical doors as they slammed one by one. I'm sure I broke a few vocal chords too. He was always right beside me, yet so far.

But we mingled together. When his hand gripped mine with his feathery touch, it seemed okay to pretend. Maybe my mind still needed to develop, needed watering. Or maybe together we just made feelings obsolete.

iv. And we did.

We sat on park benches blowing smoke kisses and watched movies, that only seemed good because everything else on TV was crap.

Bubblegum. Pot. G
i have you bookmarked -

_{"vii. Sometimes breakfast, lunch and dinner was like art; food was flung from each corner, creating a futile canvas on every wall. I played a scale of musical doors as they slammed one by one. I'm sure I broke a few vocal chords too. He was always right beside me, yet so far.

But we mingled together. When his hand gripped mine with his feathery touch, it seemed okay to pretend. Maybe my mind still needed to develop, needed watering. Or maybe together we just made feelings obsolete..."}

not a love poem. I'm not going to write about plucking
petals off of lifelines
or your cinnamon irises that
i g n i t e behind fluttered lids

I'm not going to write about paper-clip cardiac muscles
bursting through my thorax
or your smiles lines
(which I memorized from left to right)

I'm not going to write about inconsequential movie scenes
stored in the front corner of my brain that
won't stop playing on repeat
repeat
repeat

I'm going to write about the charcoal contours
painted beneath your eyes
every grapefruit dawn as clouds illuminate
belt-buckles and (tear)stained pillows

I'm going to write about worrylines and
our bitter birdsongs that

not a love poem.

_{"I'm not going to write about plucking
petals off of lifelines
or your cinnamon irises that
i g n i t e behind fluttered lids

I'm not going to write about paper-clip cardiac muscles
bursting through my thorax
or your smiles lines
(which I memorized from left to right)

I'm not going to write about inconsequential movie scenes
stored in the front corner of my brain that
won't stop playing on repeat
repeat
^repeat..."}

the process of seasoning. My words are origami: And
I can fold my letters -
shape-shift them - into
something less
corroded.

A sapling, I was not
nurtured - stilted, maybe - malnourished.
I peeped my
bulbous head
from

the mud: risen and ravenous.
Springtime and the baloonMan
was silent: His
mouth a
stone.

The sun scorched my feet -
I burned it back:
I crushed the sweetly
sickening liquid from
her Blackberries,
slick

blue-stained on my fingers.
Lazarus sliced my pudgy
flesh like punctuation,
like a
feather.

My crumble of syllables sprinkle:
I am Fall(en) and
black lace fans
cannot sate
me.

I climbed Frost's birches: their
barks marro
the process of seasoning.

_{"My words are origami: And
I can fold my letters -
shape-shift them - into
something less
corroded..."}

I. My bones were glass blown:
Crafted to curve lowly -
(un)beautifully - furling like
a fetus,
inchoate.

Imagine me transmuted, bursting through
desquamated skin. Picture my
clay-molded contours liquified
and awakened, shifted:
Incognito.

But I am unseasoned - grape-shelled,
guileless. Esotericism is overflowing
in my veins:
I click
shut.

This path is as smudged as
its traveler (skidding yet
never slowed), clotted
with mud:
Defiled.

Watch my fingers splay, breaking
from my tendons to
grasp tangible air
and touch
nothing.

You can neither scorch nor
whittle me into
nail-sized hopelessness, only
make me
obsolete.

Steeled, my jaw is set -
I.

_{"My bones were glass blown:
Crafted to curve lowly -
(un)beautifully - furling like
a fetus,
inchoate.

Imagine me transmuted, bursting through
desquamated skin. Picture my
clay-molded contours liquified
and awakened, shifted:
Incognito."

Extra piece:

I dabble in photography occasionally. I very rarely upload my pictures, but this is one of favourite uploads so far.}

All We Need is Love!

Love is all we need!

This box is dedicated to showcasing the following:

Those in need of love, advice or support.

Those who need donations for a worthy cause.

Those who need exposure for their commissions, contests, projects or events.

If you would like to be in this widget for any of the reasons above, please send me a

In Need of Love/Advice/Support
N/A

In Need of Donations

~autospy is raising points to buy Think Pink by `ArtistsForCharity. It is a Digital Art drawing aiming to raise awareness of Breast Cancer. All donations and support is appreciated.

Commissions

~skart2005 desperately needs $3,550 to re-take a year at her medical school. Her dream is to become a doctor. In order to raise this money, she is doing commissions within the Traditional/Digital media. Prices start as low as $3. For more information, read her journal here.

Contests and Projects

*AspiredWriter is hosting a three-part contest revolving around different prompts, encouraging artists to attempt a variety of art forms. Prizes include points, subscriptions and critiques. The deadline overall is November 10th 2011, 2AM GMT, but there are several deadlines for each prompt. More details can be found here.

Events

^thorns is hosting a Word War Chat Tour, held once every month. Everyone is invited and there are a couple of 3 month premium memberships up for grabs at each chat event. For more details about Word Wars go here. If there is a month in which you can't make it, check the Chat Tour Schedule blog for updates.

Need help?

Look no further!

For help with anything related to deviantART:

_{FAQ #264: Is there a description of the Help Desk contact categories?
FAQ #590: What are the hours of operation for the Help Desk?
FAQ #713: Who is on the Help Desk Team?
FAQ #630: Are there any rules for the Help Desk?
FAQ #741: How are Help Desk responses sent to me? Can I have them e-mailed to me?}

------
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#devBUG!
~welcome Tour!
#MNAdmin!
#Life-On-dA!

^namenotrequired has a number of guides and tutorials in his gallery: Check out his dA related folder. Don't forget to browse through his news articles!

If you're seeking assistance with jazzing up your deviantART page, see the following:
Sexify Your Page: Custom Boxes by `SanguineEpitaph. I also strongly recommend reading his HTML Tutorial and his CSS Tutorial.
=somrat is also awesome, with plenty of useful tutorials and resources to improve your profile design.
=The--Last--Hope is a fantastic, young designer who will revamp your entire profile page for 700+

. If you have the

to spare and want something truly different, he's the right person to consult!

For help with personal issues:

Help with Life Forum!
Note #Neverbealone!
Note #LoveCostsNothing!
Note #Circleoffriends!
Note #AQuietBeliefInAngels!
Note me!

Of course, if you choose to consult me, only contact me if you feel comfortable doing so. However - just to let you know if you are considering getting in touch - I give advice in all subject areas and have successfully helped many people of all ages (including those over twice my age, both online and offline). I promise that if you ask for my help, I will do everything I can. In the circumstances that I'm unable to provide adequate assistance for any reason, I will be sure to find you the most helpful resources possible.

Please remember that in order to truly receive help from anyone - be it a friend, a parent, someone online or a professional - you absolutely must be determined to take action and help yourself. There is no miracle cure for most problems, it's a matter of doing what you can and being open-minded. If your thought process is one-track and constantly negative, or you are unwillingly to physically do what you must to change your circumstances, you cannot expect anyone to be truly capable of helping you.

Take part in #NeverBeAlone's Project Awareness: Disabilities throughout November and December, 2011. Share your experiences, let's see your story.

Check out the news article HERE and spread the word! Keep an eye on #NeverBeAlone for updates!

Stories submitted so far (in order of submission):
PA - Disabilities: Retinitis Pigmentosa (when topic was previously launched in April)
PA - Disabilities: No Cure
PA - Disabilities: EA

Alternatively, if you:

Need help with deviantART-related issues

Are new to the site and would like some guidance

Want some more personal advice or support

Would like me to spread the word about a cause

Desire critique on your art

Or simply want a great big hug!

Feel free to drop me a line!

Please note: The Twitter account below will keep you up to date with literature news around deviantART and belongs to *Lit-Twitter. It is not my personal account. Since my previous account has been deleted, there is no point in requesting my Twitter.

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May 25, 2012
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May 25, 2012
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May 23, 2012
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May 19, 2012
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If you have points to spare, I promise to put them to good use.

Any

you donate will be used towards the following:

Giving one month and three month Premium Memberships to deserving members around the community. I will compile a list of those I give these to.

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Sharing points among participants of my Project Awareness: Disabilities and future related projects.

Putting points aside to make #NeverBeAlone a Super (paid) Group.

Donating points to contests.

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Points donated will never be used for myself. Whatever you give to me will be given back to the community. Thank you!

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deviantID

=bowie-loon123

Jasmin (Are you) Shaw
Artist | Student | Literature

United Kingdom

So you want to know who I am?

In real life, I'm a busy butterfly. Additionally, I have priorities online too and when I'm lacking time, I focus solely on my groups. If you have commented, sent me a note etc. then please be patient. I recommend checking my Journal for hiatus notices. If you urgently need to speak with me and I appear to be inactive on deviantART, here are others ways in which you can contact me:

New Facebook Account

bowie-loon123@hotmail.co.uk

If you can't access my Facebook page, search for me with my e-mail address.

List of things I need to do here:

Poetry Commission for *ExistenceWeSummonYou.

Do a critique for ~ChienNightmare.

Do a critique for ~Tatamae.

Fulfill any request made by ~OliveParker to repay her for my forgetfulness last year.

Get at least one critique from my list done.

Do #theWrittenRevolution's Mentorship Project Challenges.

Earn a DD? I hope so!

Suggest more DDs!

Write a piece that will be considered my best.

Write a piece about piano music for *patamfreti.

~~Track down the best writers on deviantART and feature them all in news articles.~~ In Progress!

I study Creative Writing at university in London.

4,707,131th member on dA!

I have a sarcastic sense of humour and we might not get along if you can't handle a little banter. I'm blunt yet sharp _{and pervy.}

I can come across as a little crazy, but beneath is someone far more reserved and mature. I know when to be serious and am decent at picking up vibes.

I love, live and breath literature. Writing - for me - began at an early age as a form of release; a way of venting cliche teenage angst amongst dark family secrets. It was an escape. Since then, I have grown from that and it isn't a way of battling with my frustrations or putting my past into perspective anymore. I have learned more than ever in the last three years or so to embrace literature as an art form, with all of its genres, techniques and impacts on others. Now I see what I do as art. I still use it to express myself, but in an artistic and imaginative way. I savour the execution, the act of writing itself. It's become so important to me.

I suppose nowadays, you could say I write because I genuinely love doing it, regardless of what purpose it may be subconsciously serving for me at the time. I don't see it as fun: Writing is too large a part of my life for me to call it fun. But it's definitely enjoyable seeing a little piece of me integrated in every piece I write. It's even more exhilarating seeing myself change and documenting how others have changed alongside me. It's still an escape, but for different reasons. It's not an escape out of my pain; it's an escape in which I can temporarily put daily life aside and delve into a fabricated world, opening a dimension of creativity.

I don't feel writing was ever a choice. I never contemplated trying it on to see if it fit, I never had to think about starting writing. It simply occurred naturally and it reached a stage where I couldn't stop if I wanted to. I think there's something beautiful about that.

Writing to a degree is a selfish part of me: I write for myself. I don't write for anyone else. Others merely inspire my pieces. That's not to say I don't want others to read my work. I love it when others enjoy my work and feel moved by it, or even when they nit-pick every flaw.

My mistress is music. It is something I have been brought up with my entire life and I have developed a passion for live performances and older music, rather than current chart toppers. A dream of mine is to one day become a successful musician or songwriter. I feel music, lyrics and especially live concerts can genuinely make an impact on our lives.

I adore nature and walking amongst it. I have a soft spot for animals and cannot bear the sight of cruelty towards them: It makes me very angry. I meditate and often encourage others to do the same. I feel that the benefits of meditating are sometimes truly forgotten. People spend so much time rushing in life that they forget to take some time out to relax.

I strive to help people. It is a very important aspect of my life. I feel it is essential for people to do what they can to contribute to the lives of those around them to whatever extent they can: We live this life together. This is how I tend to spend my time both online and offline. By helping others, I truly grow as a person.

Here on deviantART, I am Founder of the following groups:

_{"#NeverBeAlone is a group entirely focused on lending a hand and a shoulder to cry on. Our goal is to do whatever we can to aid people and help them to resolve their personal problems, however big or small.

Anyone is welcome to join our cause. Whether you need help, want to help others or just keep an eye on us - you can contribute to making a difference and combatting loneliness here on deviantART.

Together we stand, divided we fall..."}

Group on hiatus!
_{"#PPPLit (Prodigious Poetry and Prose) is dedicated to featuring underappreciated Literature here on deviantART! This is dedicated to giving writers the recognition they truly deserve and bringing literature to the front of this community. All work featured has less than thirty favourites! Our aim is to promote the underappreciated, not the already loved.

We sincerely hope you enjoy participating in our group and that you finally achieve the feedback you desire by contributing to this ever-growing community!

Be appreciated, be acknowledged, be artistic...

Be inspired..."}

_{"This is a group for outstanding writers to come together and share their work.

Here's the catch: Not just anyone can join. Only writers that we select/accept may join and share their work.

Do not spam the front page with requests to look at your gallery. Simply click on "Join Our Group" and provide three links/thumbs of your best work in the message box.

Good luck, and stay outstanding! "}

I'm a Contributor in

and a Core Writer in

! They are amazing groups, please check them out if you have not already done so!

I'm also a Poetry & Prose Admin for

. If you have a suggestion, check my guidelines and drop me a line!

I made the following PLZ accounts:

This site is hectic, but I wouldn't change anything. The only thing I wish I could change is getting so involved in the community when I first joined.

If you have any questions, shoot me a

! Take care!

Want to learn more about me? I have been interviewed in the following articles:
The Ladies of Lit: Volume XII by `LadyLincoln
The Saturday Spotlight by =SilverInkblot on behalf of =DailyLitDeviations

Interests

Update

Dec 7, 2011, 9:31:32 AM by =bowie-loon123
Personal Journal

Hey everyone!

So I have been gone for a while and have barely contacted anyone. I have decided to post an update.

University

I'm doing well with my radio drama script and essay, about 3/4 through. Everything else? Not so good. I have a deadline tomorrow in which I must submit the first chapter of a novel I have written. It needs to be 3,500 words long and I have merely written 500. My social life is slowly improving, but everything else university-related has plummeted. If I fail this year I will be utterly devastated. Knowing me, I will pull myself together at the very last minute. However, the anxiety is draining me. My friends are nice but I cannot bring myself to trust them. I'm not prepared to open up yet.

There's a friend on my course. He's so different to anyone I have ever met. However, I don't see him often anymore. I think he is a more isolated individual than he claims to be. Also, he may be a little too...Insane. Hypocritical of me to say so, perhaps, but I think he has a darker side to him. I don't think the person everyone sees is the person he truly is. I don't believe that his confidence is real. Sometimes I can't distinguish between the person and his mask. But I can't help but care for him.

Personal Life

Firstly, thanks to everyone who sent their birthday wishes and much love to those who gave me gifts too! I appreciate it so much.

I sought help for my depression. My GP has officially diagnosed me and I'm now taking Citalopram. I told my father about it two days ago; he is trying his best to be understanding and supportive. We are now seeking low-cost counselling. The antidepressants are making me worse; I have no motivation to do anything. I have been lying in bed for two days feeling ridiculously low. I did my research before taking them though, so I know it takes patience and that if it still doesn't work within a certain period of time, I either need a higher dosage or different medication. I tried to kill myself more than once just last month: I knew it was time to overcome my fears and seek support. Hopefully the Citalopram will do far more good than harm. I am at least glad I have finally told a family member and that he supports me. I don't know what I would do if he didn't. I want no-one's sympathy, I'm merely telling it as it is.

Regretfully, I still must keep deviantART on hold until after Christmas. I love deviantART, but I don't feel as much of a drive to be here as I used to. If anyone wants me to get in contact or you have messaged me and I never replied, please give me a nudge. Likelihood is I forgot or lacked the time/motivation. You can note me or e-mail me (bowie-loon123@hotmail.co.uk); e-mails are more likely to receive a reply.

I have blanked a little, so I may come back to this later and update it.

I would like to leave you with this UK television advert. It promotes a British charity known as Barnardos, which aims to help vulnerable children and young people. The advert itself is no ordinary advert in my view. It gets the message across with a life story which is portrayed in a touching and even artistic manner. Here we go:

Hope you're all well!

Jaz

13 Comments

More Journal Entries

Journal History

Dec 7, 2011 Update
Nov 5, 2011 #NeverBeAlone's Project Awareness: Disabilities
Oct 17, 2011 Official Hiatus
Aug 9, 2011 Literature Commission Guidelines
Apr 22, 2011 DLD Suggestion Guidelines: Important Update!

What do you do to cheer yourself up when you feel extremely low and emotionally distressed?

59%

26 deviants said I'm trying to figure that one out myself (=bowie-loon123 s you).

41%

18 deviants said Comment please.

54 comments, Previous Polls

What I do and don't do!

If you have queries about any of the above or are interested in a collaboration/commission, shoot me a

!

Regarding commissions, I only accept payment through deviantART

. For more information, read my Literature Commission Guidelines.

All the wonderful people...

...Deserve a section of their own!

Some are close friends, some are acquaintances, some are artists who utterly inspire me.

Don't be offended if your name isn't here. I still appreciate those whom aren't mentioned.

Most amazing people in the universe

Wonderful friends and acquaintances

Wonderful artists

...

Daily Lit Deviant!

Showcasing writers worthy of your attention!

This series has been discontinued until mid-January, 2012 due to reasons mentioned in this journal.

Read all pieces featured here!

_{_{_{_{Au revoir!}}}}

Read this before commenting...

...Or else!

DO NOT COME HERE JUST TO SAY "THANKS FOR THE FAVE/WATCH/LLAMA." ANY FUTURE SUCH COMMENTS WILL BE HIDDEN. YOU MAY JUST WANT TO BE POLITE, BUT PERSONALLY I WOULD RATHER NOT BE FLOODED WITH THE EXACT SAME COMMENT REPEATEDLY. If I your work, it's because I appreciate it and no "Thank you"s are required. Comment when you actually have something more to say than a message you copypasta'd to the masses. If you you really must thank me, feel free to give me a hug using the widget at the bottom left of my page!

DO NOT COMMENT HERE BEGGING ME FOR POINTS, SUBSCRIPTIONS ETC. These comments will be hidden. It's disrespectful: Simple as that. I have no problem with giving points when requested, but I do not approve of begging and having my profile spammed with a comment that has been copypasta'd to every user on deviantART. I only give subscriptions to those who I feel thoroughly deserve them. If you truly desire a subscription or points, take the time to send me a in which you explain your cause.

Thanking me for featuring your poetry as a DLD, giving you a Premium Membership, suggesting your art for a DD or featuring your work in news articles/journals is another matter. Acknowledgment for going out of my way to feature your work or give you a present is appreciated, as it takes time and consideration. However, if you don't I won't hold it against you.

DO NOT TAG ME, SEND ME CHAIN LETTERS ETC. I don't want to be tagged in your journals. If I want to use a quiz you have posted, I will do so and let you know. I would rather not be tagged. I don't want your chain letters either. I don't care if I will choke on my own vomit and die tomorrow by not passing a ridiculous "scary" story on. I don't care if not passing a friendship/hug/love letter around makes me a fake friend. Go away.

_{I promise I'm not a bitch, really.}

Comments

~angelichope May 12, 2012

Hey Jaz, wishing you a happy day!! Good luck with everything, and may it all work out!!!

--
The world can be a better place if you have a thankful heart*

~cholie Apr 12, 2012

_{Dear Jaz,
You are missed oh so very much.
I hope you are doing well wherever you are.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Most sincerely,
cholie}

--
Member of...

#AQuietBeliefInAngels & ~Maximum-Ride-Fans & #NeverBeAlone

WARNING: This person is prone to the over-usage of emoticons!